Moving Forward

We must progress forward lest we digress.

This past few years has been a whirlwind of emotion to say the least.  Standing in prayer as our oldest child has been through a journey far beyond her years.  The past is in the past and we look toward the future.  With the future brings a new love into her life and a budding friendship for our family. 

From this new relationship we welcome a new baby to the family.

Darren and I are going to be grandparents. 



9 weeks



The news is just beginning to seem like reality.  We are excited about what the future will bring for our family. This hip, hop granny is now looking for a modern (young) grandma name for my grandchildren to call me.  I became a momma at 26 and I look to be a grandma at 36.  So my mom is "Nanna" and Darren's mom is "Grammy" and our grandmothers are "Grandma".  Kallie calls me Marmie so I don't think that can be my Granny name, Ruled out "Nina" (too close to Tina and means Aunt). Considering "Mimi" "Omi" or to just let the baby call me what it will (but its hard to wait that long and call myself what, "Grandma"?!--not)

Reflection

I know that it has been a while since I have posted.  I am taking a moment to purge a little before I continue with the tasks set before me today.

I am fully wrapped in a season of change.  I am in a serious detox in my life.  I have lost track of me.  I have become very distracted by life around me that the things that I know are truly my responsiblilty have suffered.  The parts of my life that I am committed to have been put on the back burner due to things that are not priority or truly important.  I have become so "busy" in my denial.  I have become so obessed with negative things and have forgotten who I am, really. 

I am trying to stay focused now.  Let go of the things that I can't change and their negative affect on me.  Address the things that I need to take charge of and stop the denial.  I have been to proud to admit defeat, to let go of things that I think I can handle. 

I am burrowing hard to get to the core.  It is a slow and painful process.  Picking and chipping away at the unnecessary.  Watching as the usless debris falls away, grasping after it as though there might be something to salvage when it's is of no true value to me.  Inside my head, I'm screaming "Let it go", but it is deep rooted and there are serious emotional attachments. 

Just as I think I see things clearly and think that the rebuilding can begin, I find more to be purged.  The rebuilding is my goal and my motivation.  Clearing out all the junk seems redundant but with out this cleansing process the building process is not as strong as it should be.

July 9th, 2006

God made you the way that you are, you are tough as a boot.  You are, you’d rather fight  than switch—and God made you that way.  Everything that He does is by beautiful design, and the Lord established you because of what is in your heart and what he deposited in your heart for a specific work and there’s a strength in you that is from the Lord.  Now see if the enemy could get hold of that strength he would turn it and he would pervert it and turn it into something that would be destructive, but quite frankly, there is a real pillar of strength that God established in you for the house of God and for the body of Christ.  There’s a strength and a stability, and you might say “Yeah, but I don’t know that I feel . . .” I’m just telling you what I see by the spirit, I see a depth in your spirit, I see an anointing in your spirit, and a grace about you.  The strength that you have, is the strength that God deposited for other people.  See the blessing of Abraham is not just that you are going to get a blessing .  The blessing of Abraham is Thou shalt BE a blessing.  So the blessing was given in behalf of establishing the covenant, that people could receive from the covenant through that blessing.  So God has anointed you and deposited a strength with in you.  There’s steel laid in your character.  There’s a toughness about the core of your being.  God made you that way.  It’s a strength that is used for the body of Christ and to bring deliverance.  You are going to be someone who will wade in and just scrap until ain’t nobody standin’ left.  But God made you that way.  On behalf of those, how many in the world has no one to stand up for them?  No one to plead their cause?  No one to say “This is the way”? No one, as a matter of fact, all of their life, all they’ve been told was the fact that they’ ain’t any good’ and they ‘won’t amount to anything’.  But you’re not going to be like that, you are going to be a strength and a pillar to those that are round about you.  And God is going to raise you up as a strength and a pillar n the house of the Lord and in the Kingdom of God and you’re going to do some mighty things.  Don’t try to be like everybody else, as a matter of fact you can’t be, it would drive you crazy.  And as a matter of fact, other people being the way they are kind of drives you crazy.  But I’m just telling you, you be true to you.  You be the way you are, but be that way with the love of God toward people.  Let the strength be displayed through love.  When the strength of God that He deposited in you is established and expressed through love it will always bring deliverance to people that are round about you.  And you’ll become like a shelter that when the storm comes, people will run to, to hide under the shelter that God’s provided in you.  So I just speak a release to you, that I want to say, Feel Good About What’s In You, and realize that God didn’t make junk.  God has established you and  you say “Well, I’m not like everybody . . .” Well, you’re not supposed to be like everybody else.  God made you specifically the way you are cause He likes you.  He likes you.  And I’m just telling you that the blessing of God is upon you and I’m just praying right now that the seasons that are before you will be very fruitful and that you will be a pillar, that you will be a strength in the house of God.  That your strength would be established and expressed through love.  Love works no ill toward anyone, but love is always expressed in reaching out, in covering , in loving, in ministering, even in rebuking.  I can see you’ve got the ability to rebuke.  You can rebuke if you have to.  It’s there.  But that’s fine, sometimes people need rebuked.  But you rebuke because you love them, because you love them.  And I just want to say that the hand of God is upon you and you are going to move into a powerful time of awareness of who you are.  And I’m telling you somethin’, there is something great in you.  I am a treasure hunter, I’m tellin’ ya.  I am Indiana Jones in the Spirit.  And there is a treasure in you, there is a treasure in you.  And I just want to say in the name of Jesus, that you’re going to rise up and you are going to be powerful in the kingdom of God.  You’re going to be powerful, so I bless you and I bless your house.  I bless your house.  I just pray that you sleep well and that your sleep be sweet.  I pray that you walk without the heaviness of pressure, of anxiety, or of fear.  But that you will walk in confidence, that you will walk in stability, and that you will walk in a surety that the word of God is true. And that the relationship with God is working through you and flowing through you.  So I just bless you, I bless you in the name of the Lord.  And I speak blessing to this house, you’re going to be a strong house.  Strong house.  I just bless you in the name of the Lord.

--Jerry Edmon, July 9, 2006 

Children's Home in the News

CLICK HERE TO GO THE PONCA CITY NEWS ARTICLE

As I was sitting with my daughter at the hospital this morning the nurse came in astonished about the news that the Children's Home would be closing.  We hinted at how it affected us and he said that the article had made the front page news.  So I have included a link to this mornings article which will give you the facts as of now if you are interested. 

MiKay is feeling better and we hope that she will be released in the morning.  Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.  We know that control over all is not in our hands, but in God's.  This of course applies to all of our circumstances yesterday, today & tomorrow.

tinaclonts@yahoo.com

In "Whom" Do We Trust???

Who among you would offer his son a stone if he asked for bread? . . . How much more will your heavenly father give to you?

I eluded to some of you that changes for the Clonts family are on the horizon.  So now it is official.  CH-CH-CH-Changes.

So the 80+ years of caring for children at the American Legion Children's Home in Ponca City, Oklahoma is coming to a close.  For us that means looking for a new home for our family and a new job for Darren.  Anyone who knows us well, knows that this is quite a blow for our little family.

Here's a story of a girl (me) who loves, loves, LOVES her exhisting circumstances.  Family, friends, home, work. . . and now has to face the reality of completely uprooting--ouch!  I am not alone and that saddens me that there are SO many families in our community that are facing the reality, not to mention all of the children who will now have to find new placements.

For many years now, we have had to learn to trust God in our circumstances, not a new or easy thing for us.  However, we are getting better at handling it as we face these types of things.  There have been many times that we felt God leading us in a particular direction and we could not see how we could possible obtain that on our own.  I can remember Darren and I sitting at the dinner table and literally saying "Ok, God (insert "tee hee" here), if that is what you want, we are willing.  But, we have no way of making it happen, this one is on you!" and (how do you spell wha-la) unimaginable doors opened and we were happy to (how do you spell ski-daddle?) move on through.

I can remember many times when great joy has filled our hearts thinking NO. WAY. and just riding that giant wave and finding ourselves in a place better than what we could have ever expected for ourselves.  (i.e. living with my parents for 6 months trying to get on our feet, again, with our 3 kids and finding out that we were pregnant with Bennette 'insert enourmous grin here'-- one of the best things that EVER happened to us--who plans that?)  How many stories do you want I have a long list, that is a fun one. 

 What are you going to do?  What's the plan?

I have not a clue.  It is still fresh.  We are grieving but we are positive.  We are not ready, but I believe that our circumstances over the last year has been preparing us for change and in that aspect, we are ready.  We are not ruling anything out at this point--we know better. 

So tune in next time for another exciting episode/adventure . . .

Peace be with you, all of our friends and co-workers facing the same realities that we face.  We are not alone, nothing happens that God is not in control over.  Email me, we will exchange grief and positiveness!
tinaclonts@yahoo.com

Love you ALL!

Bracelets for Kim

Per Robin on Facebook:

We are selling silicone braclets (purple) that say FAITH LOVE CONQUER AND KIMBERLY ON BACK SIDE. to help Kim with medical expenses. It has been doing very well we had to order more. If you would like one or more let me know . $5.00 a braclet. Thanks everyone for all your support.

Contact:

Robin: robin_mike06@yahoo.com

Bob and Marcia Crandall

Please spread the word!

Thanks, Tina

Thursday, August 5th, 2009

Summer Fun


We are priveledged to have a great maintenance team that will act fast when our air conditioning decides to freeze on a hot August day.  The day was tolerable thanks to the unusual cloud cover and now that sunset is approaching we find ourselves gently cooling down. 

It will not be long before we are buried in snow and wishing for the days spent splashing in the water in the hot sun. I have posted a couple of pictures of the cousins in the sun.  Happy Memories. 

All around me I hear of chaos and stressful situations.  I pray a prayer of peace for each one.  The most positive control we can have in any situation is 'self control'.  Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts.  Let us not lift our souls to another.  Just my thought for the day.

We are watching God open doors and close doors as we pray for patience to see His will and lead us on the path He has set before us.  We wait in positive anticipation.  Some dude facebooked a bunch of us today to say "BE EXPECTING!"  I'm there man!!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Journal entry - 5/30/08

Denomination.  Fundamentals. Faith. Freedom. Master or Slave --
How exhausting it is trying to figure out how everyone else tells you to think and believe.  It's frustrating.  Where's the freedom to enjoy life, enjoy God?

Baseline is this -- Throw it all to the side, it is all too crazy to sort through right now.  Can you come to the place where you can just acknowledge that you are a significant being and a seek out your Creator.  Find that place in your mind where you can meditate on Him alone for just a little while.  As though the universe were empty except for you and your Creator, one on one.  Seek Him for your purpose, direction.  Whatever questions you have .

It's not about doctrine or some emotional roller coaster, or your peers and the latest trend.  It's about you acknowledging your Creator and seeking out the purpose in your exhistence.  The Creator has the answers and longs for the inamacy of your acknowledging Him and your pure lust in finding your designated purpose.

What a God that would sacrifice so much through time to give you, ME, open access to such intamacy.

Do not expect a cookie cutter, stamped out response from your Creator.  Anticipate a unique understanding of your significance.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A wise man once said "Never Assume. 

It only makes an Ass of you and me".

Today I reflect on decesions made.  Please do not assume that I am upset with you if you are embarrassed that you didn't call when you thought you should have called.  Please do not assume that if my opinion is different than yours that I am ashamed of you.  Please do not assume that there is EVER anything that you could do that would push me away from you.  You are precious to me and by assuming anything otherwise you are mistaken.  You have nothing to prove to anyone.  You are and have always been the gift given to us by God himself.  No one can take that away.

Today I pray for all who are estranged from loved ones for any reason.  Walk in Faith or be led by fear.  God is in control and when we all truly submit to that we will be comforted.  I am not there yet!