Today will go down in history as another
"I opened my big, fat mouth when I should have done something different" day.
I'll spare you the gore. When I found out what was going on--Believe it or not, this time I kept my mouth closed (mostly because of the shock factor), at least for a little while. Long enough for that feeling like your teeth have just been smashed in by a baseball bat to begin to subside a little.
Some things you just can't take back. Even if they are true. Just about the time that I thought we had made it through all of the earth shattering. You know the feeling like you can trust your life to maintain some kind of stability. Then the tsunami hits, you didn't see it coming, it is a disaster that you couldn't get away from!
So, just to clarify, the house and family are still standing. This is my attempt to vent all of the emotion pent up inside of me. I have already assured my tsunami that it is COMPLETELY my fault for even giving the opportunity for something so hurtful to be repeated. I am trying to do what I always tell them to do--Own it! I have apologized and taken the responsibility. It's not one of those things you can fix or take back. It just brings more destruction.
So heed this warning: When things in your life are extremely emotional (and unfortunantly true) be careful because your words can come back to bite you. It deters the healing process that much more. Like I said, just when you think it is safe to go back in the water . . .
*in attempt to vent please see the sad attempt at me finding humor in my ignorance*
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