The Five P's

I have always been one who 'over thinks' EVERYTHING!!!  This inevidibly leads to having the Joy sucked right out of the situation for me.  I have been working very hard on just letting go and have had many break throughs. 

My parents tell stories of a four year old (me) who overthinks the simplist choices.  Spend the night at grandma's or go home?  The story ends with a miserable four year old who overthought the whole thing, "what am I missing out on at home" "Will I wish I had stayed if I go, will I wish I had gone if I stayed" "what if . . ." --yeah, It has only become worse as this girl has aged. 

Did I mention that this sucks the Joy out of everything when you overevaluate and try to peel the layers back on everything.  I am getting better.  I hate making bad decisions, I would rather not suffer through the anguish of dealing with something that could have been avoided. 

"Proper Preperation Prevents Poor Performance"

So I have become a freakish overthinker.  Typically result is one of two things:  The decision is stalled for so long that the opportunity is either missed or I make a spontaneous decision that costs me big time. 

It is no secret that we all need balance in our lives.  This is one that I have to work on every minute of the day.  It's never one  thought stuck in my head it's a minimum of 242 things because one thought leads to another and another and another.  When I was younger I would look to others for their acceptance before making decisions, this was a serious crutch that was not healthy for me.  Something that I am still guilty of but not as much as I used to be.

I am on a journey of self discovery.  I want to be ME.  The me that my Creator designed different from all other beings.  I have people in my life that help me find balance but I know that my mental and spiritual health begins with the decisions that I make. 

The thing that I am meditating on today is to remember to draw close to the things that I KNOW create balance in my life instead of pushing them away.   Also, to be aware of Joy sucking worry and cling to liberty.

• The power to choose, think and act for oneself; freedom from control or restriction
• The right or priviledge of access to a particular place; freedom
• Free, unoccupied, or unresticted